Conversation Starters - When You Don't Know What to Say

Recently, I asked our Home Officer Network and some other online Parenting groups what some of their favorite conversations starters were... now that conferences, trade shows, (and family reunions) are coming back in full force. While I was desperately hoping for good tips, what actually happened is that a whole lot of people made it known they are in this same quandary. 

I AM NOT ALONE!

So, after much research and many conversations with several of my more effervescent friends and co-workers, here is a handy, dandy list of conversation starters that may provide inspiration and confidence as you find yourself face-to-face with a contact, client, airport, or tradeshow floor. 

1. Where are you from? (Provided by one of our favorite Home Officers, Giovanna P.)

This is a great starting point because it naturally flows into questions, such as, "Did you grow up there?" or "What's the one place anyone has to visit if they go there?" or "If you couldn't live there, where would you want to live?" I observed this kind of where-are-you-from interaction the other day between two women who realized they had both lived in New York City in overlapping years shortly after finishing college. They got to compare notes on what parts of the city they had each lived in, what their favorite restaurants were, and other fun, reminiscent exchanges. There's a lot you can do with this question. 

2. Now that travel seems to be opening up, do you have any vacation plans that you're excited about?

Come on, people. We can at least leverage the fact that hardly anyone has been anywhere for over a year, and everyone is planning on making up for lost time. Give someone the opportunity to wax poetic about finally being able to head for Cabo or voyaging to the Grand Canyon, or flying across the country to finally see their parents/kids/best friend/favorite golf course! This is something EVERYONE wants to talk about. 

3. What's the most unusual job you've had?

While maybe not the very first topic of conversation when you are face to face with a new person or walk up to a group, it's a good piece of kindling to put on a dwindling conversation fire to reignite it. Everyone's got an answer for this one, and it's usually great for some comic relief. 

4. When you're looking at the industry (economy, upcoming season, etc.), what's the one thing that's keeping you up at night?

This is a good one for almost every social setting, because if you're at an industry event it clues you in on how someone else is viewing upcoming obstacles or roadblocks. You might get insight into something you had not been aware of. If it's among friends or acquaintances, it might spark conversation about concerns about how to keep the kids occupied or off electronics for the summer, or whether or not solar panels are finally the way to go, or how to break up with their current hairdresser. You never know, someone in the group may have a suggestion or recommendation to help move toward a solution.

5. What was the last (or first) concert you went to?

Many people are aching to attend a show of some kind, and the idea of going to a concert just feels like a distant dream. Being able to share the fun, possibly nostalgic, memories of seeing a live performance brings a lot of energy, and sometimes humor, to the conversation. If we're talking about first concerts, no one can ever believe mine was M.C. Hammer. (Can't touch this.)

6. Have you picked up any new hobbies during quarantine? Or re-visited old ones?

It seems that many people I've talked to have either developed an interest in something new over the past year or have sparked new interest in an old pastime. Puzzles, roller skating, knitting, guitar, cooking, soap-making, a new language, painting... we've been pretty creative in finding ways to fill our down time, and this is an opportunity to discover a new side to the person you're talking to.

7. If you had to choose only one streaming service, now that we've all been bingeing shows and movies, which would you go with? Netflix? Amazon Prime? Hulu? One of the new network bundles, like Discovery Plus? Why?

This is a play on our quarantine standby of, "I need a new show to watch. What's have you seen that's good?" By asking about the platform, you can potentially learn their general interests and possibly even come away with new ideas for binge-worthy shows without having to ask that question outright!

Some other solid tried-and-true approaches:

If you know the person has kids or pets at home, another one of our favorite Home Officers, Danielle W., suggests asking about them. She says, "I love to see the joy when someone shares about a loved one!"

Ask what projects they are currently work on. You never know if they'll dive into a description of a work project or home project, but it usually leads to something interesting you can build questions on.

Throughout my research on conversations starters and networking, a common theme came up regarding how you walk into a setting and approach and greet others. Over and over again I saw an emphasis on greeting others with a smile. A real one! One that reaches your eyes (and we've all gotten pretty good at that due to a lot of mask-wearing)! 

So, now it's your turn. What are your best conversation starters?

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