Home Is Where the Office Is

A couple of years ago, I was having lunch with an old college friend who teaches French at a public school in Orange County, California. I was sharing my struggles with implementing chores for my 2 girls, where we had found some success, and where we were hopelessly floundering. While his own kids were toddlers and younger, he shared that he could tell within a week or two of classroom time at his school which kids had chores at home and which did not. Those with chores were typically more likely to complete their homework and also have generally better behavior than those without. There were always exception, but he found this to be true throughout his 15+ years in the classroom.  Not even a week later, I was chatting with another college friend who teaches at a private girls' academy in Seattle, Washington, which attracts the daughters of tech titans, and other families of wealth and privilege. The subject of chores came up again, and she shared her observation (without any promp

I heard it on a John Maxwell podcast  on "Communication," and the words have been repeating again and again every time I see one of my kids.  Talk to me as though I have a "10" on my head.  The point Mr. Maxwell was making is that whenever you talk to a person, they know how important they are or how you feel about them by the tone of your voice. If we talk to someone as though they are "10," they understand they are incredibly important and valued, and then they respond as a "10." If we talk to someone as a "1," they understand they are the last person on earth we want to interact with, and they respond with that rejection, defensiveness, hurt, or anger. And there's an entire spectrum in between.  This struck me at my core because I thought of how often my kids run into my home office with a question, a story, a request, a problem... and I meet them as though they are a mere "5." I know I have to tolerate their presence b

I read something recently about becoming aware of the "micro stressors" in our day, like not being able to find the tween's favorite face mask (hello 2021), or the 8-year-old suddenly finding it necessary to crawl into bed with me every night around 3 a.m., or the computer deciding to reboot exactly 2 minutes before the Zoom meeting with our top client's Executive Team. *sigh*  We have a lot of those micro stressors, and they tend to build up into just plain old continuous stress . The inconvenience of that, however, is that we don't necessarily have access to our usual activities or go-to indulgences to recharge and relax. I, for one, am craving a vacation beyond a lap around a different neighborhood. I'd love a romantic dinner inside our favorite Laguna Beach restaurant. Or a huge Super Bowl party with friends and kids and shared chip bowls and all! Ok, maybe I'm never going to look at a shared chip bowl again. But, you get it.  So, to combat the micro