Home Is Where the Office Is

How do you calm yourself when you feel that your kids have pushed you to the edge? We've definitely all been there, and some ages and seasons of life are more challenging than others. It's a question I've been getting a lot lately from moms of kids of all ages, so I did a little #Momsourcing to see what we could learn from each other. Here's what I heard from our wonderful community of Home Officers. 1. Step Away - This can be accomplished in a variety of ways, but t he important thing is giving yourself a moment and allowing the adrenaline to subside so that you're able to respond in a more thoughtful and appropriate way. Reacting is easier than responding, but it's also what leads to our biggest moments of regret. Here's what has worked for some of you: - Hand them off to your significant other while you take a walk, or send the kids to their room for a few minutes while stepping outside into the yard or patio. (from Yvette E.) - Give yourself a time out...

A couple of years ago, I was having lunch with an old college friend who teaches French at a public school in Orange County, California. I was sharing my struggles with implementing chores for my 2 girls, where we had found some success, and where we were hopelessly floundering. While his own kids were toddlers and younger, he shared that he could tell within a week or two of classroom time at his school which kids had chores at home and which did not. Those with chores were typically more likely to complete their homework and also have generally better behavior than those without. There were always exception, but he found this to be true throughout his 15+ years in the classroom.  Not even a week later, I was chatting with another college friend who teaches at a private girls' academy in Seattle, Washington, which attracts the daughters of tech titans, and other families of wealth and privilege. The subject of chores came up again, and she shared her observation (without any promp...

I heard it on a John Maxwell podcast  on "Communication," and the words have been repeating again and again every time I see one of my kids.  Talk to me as though I have a "10" on my head.  The point Mr. Maxwell was making is that whenever you talk to a person, they know how important they are or how you feel about them by the tone of your voice. If we talk to someone as though they are "10," they understand they are incredibly important and valued, and then they respond as a "10." If we talk to someone as a "1," they understand they are the last person on earth we want to interact with, and they respond with that rejection, defensiveness, hurt, or anger. And there's an entire spectrum in between.  This struck me at my core because I thought of how often my kids run into my home office with a question, a story, a request, a problem... and I meet them as though they are a mere "5." I know I have to tolerate their presence b...

It's a topic that seemed to strike a chord with my Home Officer Network last week: how do we involve our kids in activities that help them develop that sense of community, the importance of giving back, and overall gratitude for the things we have that are so easy to take for granted? While there seems to be more opportunity during the holidays to find a variety of volunteer and donation opportunities, we all came to consensus that this empathy, kindness, and giving spirit we wanted to instill in our families was not about a one-time event. This is where I, once more, was so grateful for the collective wisdom and experience of this group of moms. For Tweens and Teens There are more opportunities for kids 12 and older to do more hands on volunteering, for example in food banks or toy drives. However, two moms shared about Lion's Heart , which is a volunteer organization specifically for kids in 6th - 12th grade. All it takes is finding a local chapter or forming your o...

Working from home can sometimes be deceptively luxurious. You might think you'll have time to start dinner, or run a load of laundry, or vacuum a room - and occasionally that might be true - but most often you don't. Dinner prep is usually just as rushed for me as it is for any other working parent. But then you hear through various news reports / books / blogs / magazines that family dinners are so important!  Your family will fall apart if they don't eat dinner together!!! Well, maybe that just feels like what "they" are saying.   Despite a decent attempt, dinner feels like a battle to be won, not an event to be enjoyed. I guess it was a bit of a relief to find that my fellow Home Officers often feel the same way. With meetings and deadlines and carpools and homework and soccer and softball and conferences and dog walks and heaven-knows-what-else, getting anything in our kids' stomachs for dinner can feel like a triumph! But I know that the...

   This week's guest blogger has been a bit of a life line for me as a working mom. I worked with her husband years ago, and after I left for a different opportunity, she reached out to me when she heard through the grapevine that I was expecting. She was too! In true "Megan" fashion, she organized a group of about 8 first time moms to meet on a weekly basis. These were her friends, acquaintances and even a woman who happened to be getting a pedicure in the next chair over! All of these women now have 2 children, (that pic was of her at about 9 mos pregnant with baby #2 - of course getting ready for a work function!) and we're all still connected and meet when we can - mostly for a mom's night out. Since those "new mom" days, I've witnessed numerous examples of her organizing and connecting people, always with amazing results. It is, therefore, very fun for me to learn more about what makes this Super-Mom and Super-Friend tick! Enjoy...

I have been a fan of today's guest blogger for quite some time. She is a lover of tea, as am I , and she is the most wonderful writer. Her book, "A Tea Reader: Living Life One Cup At A Time," is one of my comfort foods. So, it is with great delight to be able to share her living/working/juggling reality here.  Enjoy! I need a schedule. This is the recurring thought that enters my brain on daily basis when I realize I'm not exercising or writing enough or organizing the house the way I'd like. But my life right now is kind of the epitome of the idea of "We plan. God laughs." I have three kids ages 7 and under, which means one is in school during the day, one is in school half days, and one is home with me all the time. They're not in daycare or afterschool care and we don't really have a babysitter. So, everything I do revolves around other people's schedules. I have become the master of squeezing projects into small chunks of time, pla...

I'm so thrilled to have Tami B. as this Wednesday's guest blogger. We've known each other since elementary school, and it's so fun to be able to learn from this side of her life - the professional home officer side.  She was smart, witty and organized then, and she's even more so now! Enjoy!  Wife, Mother, Home Officer From the time my son was born and my daughter was 16-months-old until they were 3 and 4, I worked part-time from home with them at home with me. That was one of the most challenging – and exhausting – things I ever tried to do. I often think of that time as the “Dark Years,” as I finished up a great many work “days” in a dark house at 2am. When the opportunity came up for me to start working full time, I knew it was time to get the kiddos in preschool. Leaving them each day was hard, but I was also a little giddy at the thought of getting to work in a quiet house. During the day! I was working on two separate projects,...

Home Office "Pro" #11 (I'm arbitrarily starting with #11 just because I'm sure there are at least 10 other "pros" I've mentioned to working from a home office since beginning this blog): Have Office, Can Travel. This is something the Man of the House and I have talked about frequently for many years but have never actually exercised. The fact of my job is that all I need is a phone, a computer, internet access, and a door, so it doesn't matter if I'm at home or in a train cabin en route to Paris (as long as it has Wi-Fi). I can do my job. So, when the annual family reunion came around 1000 miles from our home, and I pointed out I have zero PTO hours available, we decided this was the time to take advantage of this working reality. Welcome to my temporary office at Ye Olde Residence Inn : As the horrible saying goes, you can't swing a dead cat without hitting a relative around here, so this provides multiple child care / family entert...